Kentucky Pro Figure

Here are a few pictures from the Kentucky Pro Figure show that I competed in last weekend.

I placed 10th out of 27. It’s nice to know I can still hang with women in their 20’s and 30’s!

I’ll post some more backstage and candid pics in a few days. Hang tight and don’t forget to register on the AFitness Connection main page if you haven’t already!

A Look Back and Catching Up

A Look Back and Catching Up

It’s past 2 am in the morning. Insomniac blogging once again.

Oh, hi, t’s me again…lol…where the f*ck have I been? Seemingly living out of a shitcase, I mean suitcase (honest typo, thought ”shitcase” does seem to be just as appropriate - anyhow, the “u” and the “h” are very close on the keyboard, hence the typographical error), ..Living out of a shitty suitcase and travelling since the end of July.

It’s been so ridiculously long since I even logged on here, I forgot just what it is I do. I had to go back and read my very first post written… “Looking Good, Feeling Good – Gym Or Meat Market” ( http://lilmisschris.wordpress.com/2008/04/10/looking-good-feeling-good/). What a different person I was then, and that was only six months ago.

Yeah, I still wear lipstick to the gym, though I could really give a flying rat’s fart if anyone notices. Yes, I bagged the only person that interested me way back in the early part of the year – the 21-year old beefcake there that I had my eye on.  In hindsight, it was the necessary rebound fling that gave me the jumpstart of confidence to get out of a miserable marriage. Mission accomplished. Case closed. Hence the inspiration for the blog that still receives the most traffic here, “Cougars, Milfs, And the Half Plus Seven Rule” (http://lilmisschris.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/cougars-milfs-the-half-plus-seven-rule/). ….you bunch of pervs and freaks who keep using the search term “milf”…. no offense meant. Without you youngun’s, the “milf” would not exist. Terms of endearment all around.

Oh, yeah. It’s starting to come back to me now, this whole blogging thing…..I believe I was half past buzzed on ambien and alcohol everytime i sat down in front of my laptop and started typing. So hang tight while I pour myself a shot of randomness in print….

          (….ahhhh, Sambuca….feel the burrrrrnnnnnn…….)

Then I clicked on over to the post that brought on the drama and put me out there as a serious writer and an open book, attracting an entirely different fanbase, “The Final Day” (http://lilmisschris.wordpress.com/2008/04/30/the-final-day/). Very touching, but uughhhhhh…..excuse me while I try and decide whether to puke or stick a hot poker in my eye.

click, click… onto “Divorce – A Child’s Happiness Vs. Personal Growth” (http://lilmisschris.wordpress.com/category/marriagedivorceparenting/) . Yup, definitely feeling the regurgiburp. We tried. Didn’t work. Now get out.

Aahh…Boston…my long-distance summer hook-up……..”Friends With Benefits” (http://lilmisschris.wordpress.com/2008/05/26/friends-with-benefits/)… this is where it all started, huh? An inebriated hot mess one night in downtown Fort Lauderdale. If I were to write a follow-up to this, it would be titled, “Is Your Fucking Phone Broken?”

On a more realistic, serious note, it has been quite an experience - this whole long-distance relationship thing. One thing that still has not changed, is that I still don’t have room, emotionally or otherwise, for a serious relationship with someone who is too easily accessible. Without the distance and forced casualness, I probably wouldn’t have been able to focus on accomplishing all that I have accomplished in the past few months. However, it’s a nice feeling to know that there is someone who thinks I’m special, even if they live in the northeast region of the country and I’m down here in the land of hurricanes and non-English speaking women who wear their clothes two sizes too small…(WTF?). Hotels are fun as long as no one falls off the bed and gets hurt. ‘Nuff said. Miss you.

So in closing, over the course of the past EIGHT WEEKS….

• I turned a year (decade) older
• my daughter started first grade at a new school
• my ex and I have come to realize that he needs to move out, which he is now in the process of doing
• I competed twice and won my first pro show as an IFBB competitor (I covered it in my PHOTOJOURNAL on AFitnessConnection site – the link is up there on the right somewhere, under “Blogroll” category), 
• I’ve traveled to Jacksonville, Tampa, Orlando, Cleveland, New York, Atlantic City, and Las Vegas and seen the inside of more hotel rooms than I can count (”Lil Miss Chris 2008 Summer Tour”)
• I’ve made new friends and gotten to know old friends better (Dumon – you are TROUBLE!) 
• I’ve had many unforeseen twists, turns, surprises and first time experiences regarding the long-distance thingy that doesn’t qualify as a relationship (which was originally just supposed to be nothing more than a random, out of town fling. Definitely confusing, yet interesting, how things evolved. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.)
• I picked up smoking again for about three weeks before quitting again
• I became a college student for about three weeks before realizing the timing wasn’t right (though the things I learned in those three weeks of class have been invaluable for an artist like myself)
• I have my own bank account again and paid my own bills for the first time since ‘99
• I’m shopping for a new car tomorrow
• my best friend just had a baby
• I’m starting a new job next week
• and the new season of Desperate Housewives has finally begun.

 These last two months have been one long adventure….. what a looonng, strange trip it’s been….      

Expect The Unexpected

Sometimes, no matter how well you prepare for something, the unexpected happens. I guess you could say this is part 2 of my last melancholy post, “Time Happened”.

Yes, time did happen. I had accepted the fact and was prepared to move forward, as I have found myself saying and doing on quite a few occasions this year.

While preparing for my trip to NY to work the NPC Team Universe during the threat of the approaching Hurricane Hanna, with even more powerful Hurricane Ike on her heels, the atmosphere here was dark and gloomy for a number of reasons. I was flying up the coast at the onset of Hanna, and flying back on Sunday evening. South Florida was predicted to get the full brunt of Ike, who was forecasted to make landfall on late Sunday/early Monday as a category 4 storm.

Mentally, I had already prepared myself for the disappointment of spending my much anticpated, milestone birthday weekend in NY alone, and now I had visions of being re-routed to another city to spend the night in a strange airport alone, while my family and home were under seige of a hurricane.

However, everything took an unexpected turn. I left Florida in the rainy, stormy weather and returned to bright sunshine, not a cloud in the sky. Strange how things work out.                                                              

And, no, I didn’t have a lonely birthday weekend either. Everything went as according to the original plans that were made months ago. I couldn’t have orchestrated things more perfectly.

Just goes to show, nothing is ever set in stone. Learn from the past, learn from your mistakes. Keep the head out of the clouds and feet firmly planted on the ground. Take it for what it is and don’t try and predict the future. Like I said in the last post – such is fate, shit happens. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to hit the fan, though.  I came home from New York a little older (literally) and a little wiser (hopefully).

I’ve got some pictures from the weekend posted over on the lilmisschris photojournal. Check ‘em out – the link is up there somewhere on the right. I’m so tired from the nonstop traveling, I didn’t even use one single cheesy metaphor in this post, did I? My brain hurts. I seriously need to get some shuteye before I drop like bird-poop from a tree….. DOH!

Chapters. The end of one chapter signifies the beginning of a new chapter. How’s that for an enigmatic opening?

Chapters. The end of one chapter signifies the beginning of a new chapter. How’s that for an enigmatic opening?

Since I began writing, I’ve been an open book. Anyone who has followed my weblog knows that. Sharing my experiences has been very therapeutic and has also provided me with a way to step back and see how far I have progressed and healed during the most emotionally fucked up year in my life thus far. Sorry for the potty mouth. If I spelled it with a ‘ph’, would it still be considered the “F” word? If I were a cricket with insomnia, would I chirp during the day? …what the phuck am I talking about?…

Anyhow, as I sat on the plane ride to Cleveland this weekend, I thought about my upcoming birthday and how I spent my summer. On one hand, I can’t believe September is already upon us. On the other hand, it took too f*cking long to get here.

                                

Time. That was the answer I was given when I posed the question, “What happened that made you change your mind?”

“Time. Time happened.”

Somebody find me a Delorean equipped with a Flux Capacitor so I can travel back in time. Hello? McFly? Doc Brown?

                              

Time happened. Fair enough answer. I suppose the saying “time flies when you’re having fun” had to come from somewhere. So if you’re not having any fun, then it’s safe to say that time travels at the pace of a three legged turtle high on morphine?

I spent the majority of the summer dieting and training for a competition. I began dieting around the beginning of June. So basically, for me, time froze at the beginning of summertime. The last fun, socializing, and going out I did was sometime in early June. (see  http://lilmisschris.wordpress.com/2008/06/23/so-it-begins-six-weeks-out/ ). The memory of the last bit of fun, socializing and going out was what I held onto during the long summer of training, while counting down the weeks until I could go out and live a normal life again. I made no new memories to override the old ones. Memories of May/June remained fresh in my head as if they were just yesterday. Time didn’t happen for me.

Well, just as people do not read at the same speed, the beginning and ending of chapters in people’s lives aren’t always going to coincide. Hence the term, “We’re just not on the same page.” I can only control my own pages, and sometimes not even. Such is fate. Shit happens. It is what it is. Que sera, sera… and every other damn cliche’ that applies. Time happened.

The chapter of my summer has come to a close. I knew it had to end eventually, but I wasn’t ready for it to end just yet, and not this way. You just couldn’t hang on for two more weeks, could you …? I had the ending all written out in my head, but my ending involved two people, and I can only write my own story. Sometimes not even. Such is fate, shit happens - time happened.

And so I will close my eyes and make a wish… imagining one last time that you were here to help me blow out my candles….

                                                                  

                

                                                                    … happy birthday to me.  

                                                ……….

                                    ……………………………………

                                                   ………..

C.A.A.D.D. – Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

C.A.A.D.D. – Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

     Sorry about how long it’s taking me to post, but I’ve been busier

       than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest.

                        

On top of that, my PC has been slower than drugged tortoise, making computer time more frustrating than trying to understand sign language over the phone. With that said…I’m taking the lazy way out and posting something that was sent to me awhile back, from another mom. I found it quite amusing, yet made perfect sense.

                         ………….

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. – Child Activated
Attention Deficit Disorder.

 This is how it manifests:
I decide to do the laundry.

As I start toward the basement, I notice that
 there are cheerios all over the floor and my house keys are in the
cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry.

I lay my keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under
the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to
take out the trash.
 But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I
take out the trash, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off
 the table, and see that there is only one check left and my extra
 checks are in my desk in the office. So I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup
 full of juice. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I decide
 I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

 As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup, a plant on the
 counter catches my eye–it needs to be watered. I set the sippy cup
on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I’ve been searching for all morning.

 I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I’m going to water
the plants. I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and
suddenly I spot the TV remote, left on the kitchen table.

 I realize that when I go to watch TV, I will be looking for the
 remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put
 it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the plants.

I splash some water on the plant, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set
 the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid,
 there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the plants
 aren’t watered, there is still only one check in my check book, I
can’t find the remote, I can’t find the wipes, and I don’t remember what I did
 with my keys.

 Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m
really baffled
 because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

A note from Afitnessconnection.com

 

Cristine Wan AKA Lil Miss Chris is out of town right now. Here is the message she left our moderators to post for all her fans.

“A note to all my readers and to the afitnessconnection.com community. This weekend I am working a show in upper Florida for GNC. I wanted to save my weekend post for a huge post of the show and so forth.

Thank you again to all my readers i will be back Sunday to show you all what my trip was like. In the mean time check out Afitnessconnection.com and sign up for your free profile. Just another way you can read about my life and get in contact with me and all of your friends. Start a profile, upload some pictures and videos,create your own blogs and bulletins and start a group to keep in contact with your friends. Come join me at Afitnessconnection.com its free and its fun.

See you all Sunday”

Afitnessconnection.com

Blue

A Blue Week

I usually write over the weekend and post on Monday. Right now, it’s Thursday night. Actually, Friday morning, 1:20 a.m. I generally have an idea of what topic I’m going to write about, but this week I have no clue, so I’m just putting down whatever comes to mind. Random babbling… sober, too.

                                

I’ve been so busy this week, planning my daughter’s birthday party and getting ready for her first day of first grade on Monday. I, too, just registered for a class starting on Tuesday – my first time back to school in over twenty years. Plus, watching the Olympics until one in the morning every night.

Strange week it has been. Very blue and gray, much like the ominous skies of South Florida in the afternoon during summertime.

                    

Not only have I found myself in a very melancholy mood this week, but a few of my closest friends have felt the same way. Even my soon-to-be-six year old daughter claimed to have “the most bad day ever” on Wednesday. Must be something in the air. It’s been one of those weeks where your nerves are raw and you don’t know if there’s any strength left in the reserves, but you somehow manage to get through the day anyway.

I can’t think anymore. I’m tired and going to bed, hopefully to dream of comforting thoughts – like meatloaf and mashed potatoes, warm sand under my feet and the gentle crashing sound of ocean waves in my ears, or a strong set of arms encircling me, keeping me safe. Tomorrow is a new day.

                                                               ………………

That was a few days ago. It is now Sunday evening and I’m wiped out and still can’t seem to shake the blues. I’m not normally a superstitious person, though I do believe in afterlife, ghosts, spirits, and a higher power. So, I guess you could say I fall somewhere in the ‘normal’ range. I do feel that that there are some people who are more in tune to other people’s feelings and thoughts.

                                                      

Would I go as far as labeling them ‘psychics’? I’m not sure, but there were a two seperate instances this weekend that have made me think. And I think too much as it is, already….

I hadn’t spoken much to my good friend, Cindy, this week. We’ve both been so busy lately. When we do talk, it’s usually to catch up on industry news, friends, or family. However, she sent me a text, out of the blue, one night , “are you okay?” . I replied and we chatted for awhile. I told her of the usual stress – family, relationships, not enough hours in the day, but everything was alright.

Saturday morning, I went to the store to pick up last minute items for my daughter’s birthday party and her birthday cake. As I was walking out, while on the phone (coincidentally with Cindy), a woman with a toddler girl stopped me. Now, I know what it’s like to have a toddler in tow at the grocery store. You generally want to be in and out as quick as possible. The last thing you would do is stop and chat with a stranger – a stranger who is on the phone. However, stop me she did. She touched me on the arm and just looked at me for a second. What she said next went something like this…

“Excuse me, I don’t usually approach people like this. However, I saw you and felt I had to stop. I’m a psychic and what I see from you has me concerned. You smile. Your smile is here (gestures with her hand) on the outside, but inside it is not there. Will you let me do a reading on you right now? A free reading.”

I wasn’t sure what to think. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you’re travelling in another city and Seinfeld reruns come on at 11 PM instead of 10:30. As intrigued as I was, I had a large Pokemon and bug themed birthday cake in my shopping cart that would turn into a ‘Pokemon and bugs swimming in a pool of buttercream sludge’ cake if I lingered too long in the Florida heat.                                

             

So are some people just more in tune to other people, such as the psychic lady and my friend, Cindy? Or are  some people, like myself perhaps, more emotionally charged and send out stronger ’signals’? 

                                                                 

Or perhaps I’m just being overly hormonal – on top of being high-strung, with an overactive imagination.

                                                  ………………….

*Don’t forget to check out my DAILY PHOTO JOURNAL! I’ll be shooting and uploading new pictures everyday – random stuff, self-taken timer pics, candids, things of interest… (you know how us Asians are about taking pictures!). Along with this being good photography practice for myself, you can now catch a glimpse into my day-to-day life…A Day In The Life Of… as seen through the lens of my camera …click here to get to Lil’ Miss Chris *PHOTO JOURNAL* .. http://afitnessconnection.wordpress.com/

Making Friends – Past And Present

Making Friends – Past And Present

1998 -                 

“Hey, I’d like to get to know you better. Would you like to go out sometime?”

“Sure. Pass me a napkin so I can write my number down for you. Call me!”

 

2008:

“Hey, I’d like to get to know you better. Are you on Myspace?”

“I’m 1HottMoMMa. Add me!”

 

1998:

“Dude, my girl just paged me. She wants to know what I’m up to. Do you have a quarter? I need to find a payphone and call her.”

 

2008:

                   “wat r u ^ 2?  chat l8r “

 

It’s been about ten years since I’ve been out there and how things have changed! Dating this day and age is a whole new world compared to when I was in my twenties. As if dating isn’t already confusing enough, these days a good understanding of consumer electronics and fluency in SMS language are basic requirements in communcation. And so I ask, WTF?

I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s going to be like when my daughter is old enough to date. Hopefully, I’ll still be hip enough to know what’s up. However, I don’t need to stress over that for awhile because she’s not dating until she’s twenty-five…LOL.

Some days I feel about as old as the dust on top of my collection of vinyl record albums. However, I did manage to get carded this weekend!  ;-D

TTFN !!!

 

Jacksonville Pro Weekend Recap

(copied from Lil’ Miss Chris Weblog -  http://lilmisschris.wordpress.com/2008/08/04/jacksonville-pro-weekend-recap/)

Thursday afternoon….flew the hour up to Jacksonville. Met up with fellow competitor, Andrea Dumon, and we rode to the hotel together. Picked up our ‘goodie bags’ (which was full of sweets and snacks!) and got myself settled in my room. Called home and talked to my daughter to ask how her field trip to the water park went. She was a bit upset about me leaving when I tucked her in the night before. It pulls at my heartstrings to know I’m the cause of her tears. Hurts even more because I could see she tried to hold them back and be a ‘big girl’….my brave baby….   

                                                              

Spent the rest of the evening just chilling and drinking – I mean, thinking. It’s a nice change of pace from the hustle and bustle of laundry, groceries, cooking, errands, and mommy duty. Peaceful. I can think uninterrupted…which isn’t always a good thing, but the quiet time is nice. I tend to overthink things, which left me a little sad. It’s been a crazy year, full of change and unchartered waters…still don’t know where this ship is headed. Here I go thinking again…where’s the friggin’ on/off switch?…gotta stop this. I have a show to focus on.

It’s now Friday and I put on my final coat of ‘tan’ and I’m as dark as this wood desk that I’m typing at. 

                    

Good golly molly, call it JanTana or call it ProTan – I call it “Armpit In A Can”. This stuff stinks worse than the jockstraps and armpits of a football team after a hot summer day of practice (it’s just an assumption, folks. I’ve never sniffed either, nor do I care to. Really). So I’m just sitting around, waiting, relaxing with my feet up. Our judging isn’t until 6pm.

Okay, pre-judging is done and it didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but I’m okay with it. I’m happy with how I looked so I can honestly say that I’m okay with the judges preferences. This is me and that’s how I roll ..lol…how I looked for this show is exactly how I wanted to look. There were a lot of people whom I haven’t seen in awhile and it was nice to catch up and also make some new friends.

Had all of Saturday afternoon to spend doing a lot of nothing, which was fine by me! Andrea and I went to eat at Fridays the the night before and I was nursing some wicked indigestion and a headache. Money well spent. 

Saturday night finals was uneventful. I still had a helluva stomachache from the crap I ate (okay, and continued eating even after I got back to the hotel….damn goodie bag!)

A bunch of us went to Cheesecake Factory afterwards, where I made a gluttonous spectacle of myself again, while Andrea ‘Dangerous Dumon” had ‘just one bite’. Prior to this weekend, she and I didn’t know each other very well, but it turns out we have a lot in common. Her year probably rivals mine in terms of drama, change and life experiences. We laughed a lot over the weekend and I’m glad to have found a new friend in her.

                        

Most of us flew out the next day (Sunday), including myself. My daughter had a birthday party to attend at noon, so it was straight to the party from the airport…..Okay, birthday cake and pizza!!!

 

 I posted a bunch of candid pics over on my photojournal, which you can link to here. http://afitnessconnection.wordpress.com/ - under Lil’ Miss Chris *PHOTOJOURNAL*.  The Jacksonville weekend coverage begins on Thursday 7/31, and continues on Friday 8/1 and Saturday 8/2.

Okay, what to write next time….? Let me stock back up on my Smirnoff Triple Black XXX and think on it. I’ve got some good ideas about FRIENDS and relationships. Uh-huh, that’s right - you know who I’m talkin’ about, sucka!   However, right now I am bringing my daughter to go swimming at my parents condo. They live in a senior community. I hope I don’t cause too much commotion in my swimsuit, dark orange tinted skin, with protruding muscles, and veins like a roadmap. …heeheehee….

 

 btw…..huge favor to ask of you readers…could you click here and vote for me? Thanks!   http://www.flexonline.com/flexmodelsearch/august

Forward Progression/Jacksonville Pro Figure

Excerpt from my blog on myspace, (www.myspace.com/christine_wan ) – dated 12/22/2007:

“…It’s hard to believe we’re headed into the year 2008. Another year goes by…no more time for procrastination. “

                                     

This year has been all about new beginnings and forward progression. Outside of motherhood, during the last seven months I have accomplished more and experienced more than I have in the last six years altogether. I made achievements and overcame obstacles, which at first, had been overwhelming to me. I feel like a stronger, lighter person now that I finally took the time and courage to make necessary changes in my life.  There is still so much more to do, but I’m no longer sitting back and letting my life go by. 

This is the longest time I have ever spent away from the competition stage and the week of the show is FINALLY here! I must say, in comparison to the last few years, this is by far, the easiest  time I have had preparing. Perhaps it is because this is the most ‘at peace’ with myself I have been since the birth of my daughter nearly six years ago. Less stress, lower cortisol levels, as well as more patience with everything and everybody. I would write how long (or little) it took to diet down, and the amount of cardio I’ve been doing (or not doing), but I’ve heard the words “bitch” and “freak” from my competitor friends too many times to count these past two weeks.

Whatever happens, however I place this weekend – I’m happy with how I look and who I am. I’ve accepted the tumultuous road it took to get here and I try not to be resentful about allowing myself to stay trapped in a life and state of mind that I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull myself out of for the past few years. Of course, it would be nice if I were still twenty-nine, instead of starting over at this point in my life. But if the past has made me a stronger person, then I’ll take those lost years the same way I take my tequila – take charge, throw down, and keep ‘em coming.

On second thought, what the hell…. starting today, I’m officially knocking ten years off of my age. 

Dexter Jackson/Jacksonville Pro Figure in five days….. Margaritaville in six! Wish me luck!

Staying strong, like a bull on peyote.

C.

 

(photo above taken last week by my friend Kristin, who is my partner in crime and wingman when I’m not dieting. She is mentioned in the ‘T.U.I.-Texting Under The Influence’ blog and referred to in a couple others. Soon, Kristin, we will be harassing the bartenders again and getting ugly at the coyote!)