Whatever your circumstance, have faith and persevere
It’s easy for people to judge me when they look at me. I hear it all the time, usually following an outpouring of excuses and justification for not being able to get in shape or be as fit as they would like to be. I’ve been told, “Oh it’s so easy for you because that’s your job. You’re a personal trainer, you live in the gym, you don’t have a real job like me”…(love that one).
What people can’t tell by looking at me now is that there was a time in my life, not too long ago, that I couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone exercise. In the blink of an eye I had physically deteriorated to a lifeless shell of my former self…
In November of 2004 I headed out to Texas with friends to the NPC Bodybuilding & Fitness Nationals. I wasn’t competing, but I looked like I could have been. I started feeling a cold coming on, and when I returned to Miami it proceeded to get worse. By January I had been to doctor after doctor; all of them performing the same tests and evaluations on me which all came up negative, and after having no clue what to do would ultimately prescribe a different, stronger antibiotic to me and send me on my way…with an insanely high medical bill as a thank you present in my mailbox. The ailment progressed to the point that most days I could not even muster up the energy to drag myself out of bed. I barely ate anything; if it was a good day I might have forced down a piece of toast and a glass of water. Yet in 2 months, I had unexplainably managed to gain 30 lbs.
In February I decided to give it one more shot with a medical doctor, a “specialist”. I remember waiting in the car while my husband went in to check me in because I literally could not even hold my body up to walk into the waiting room and sit upright in a chair. Reclined all the way back in my passenger seat, tears streaming down my cheeks, I thought, “Why is this happening to me?”
After waiting over an hour to see the doctor and answering the same questions I had already answered a thousand times before, he handed me a prescription; Bontril…an appetite suppressant. A wave of anger came over me as the words drifted to my ears, and then turned to desperation for answers and a yearning for my life back. The blur of emotions caused a dizzying haze to wash over me…my husband caught me before my body collapsed to the floor.
I thought back to just a few months before, when I was running, sprinting, lunging, training, and rollerblading to my heart’s content….without even a thought going in to it. I would have given anything to have that back! At that moment I decided that I had only one choice…to have faith and persevere.
Overcome with complete disgust and lack of faith in the medical profession (where there admittedly was very little faith to begin with) I came to seek a homeopathic physician who treated me with acupuncture and natural medicines. Slowly, I began to feel better and she explained to me that while it may never be known what the exact problem was, what was for certain was that all the drugs prescribed to me by the medical doctors was like setting an atom bomb off inside of my body. It threw the natural balance of my body into a tailspin, and it would take some time to readjust and regulate itself.
Then in May I found out I was pregnant, and was terrified that there may be harm to the baby because of all I had gone through. My homeopathic physician told me it was probably the best thing for me that I was pregnant at this time because my body would work even harder to correct any imbalances. It turned out she was right on the money; shortly after I was feeling back to normal, except for the little nuisances of pregnancy. I even began working out, to a much lesser degree of intensity than I was used to while I was competing, but I was thankful to be capable of doing anything nonetheless.
In February the following year my baby was born; a healthy 9 lb girl. I was overjoyed, yet completely overwhelmed at the daunting task ahead of me to lose weight and get my former body back. I had gained 30 lbs with my pregnancy, which isn’t bad considering I had a 9 lb baby inside of me; but in addition to the 30+ lbs I had gained during my illness, that put me at 200 lbs (gasp!…gulp!…ugh!) I must admit there were many days I felt ashamed, hopeless, and wanted to give up, even though I knew exactly what my plan of action needed to be in order to get back in shape. It’s a tough pill to swallow when you make your living encouraging and guiding others to accomplish their dreams and be proud of their bodies, and now you find yourself in the situation where you must follow your own advice and start at step 1…
Two weeks after giving birth I was given the ok by my midwife to start working out, because I had trained up until 2 days before I gave birth. I vehemently set to work on my plan of attack, but my body had a mind of its own. My plan backfired, due to the 30 hours of exhausting labor it had just recently been put through and the nonexistent sleep ritual of being a new mom. I was not allowing my body to go through its natural healing process by forcing it to do so much physical activity all of a sudden after such a transitional phase. I again was forced to adhere to my faith and persevere.
I decided to set a new mindset. I began every workout the same way, with this simple prayer; Thank you God, for the strength in my legs and the breath in my lungs.
And I decided that whatever small step I could make each day would eventually get me where I needed to be, and it has. It has gotten me to this point today, where once again I am looked at as a great testament to physical health and wellness, and admired for my accomplishment, and possibly looked at by some as having something that they could never attain.
Whatever your circumstance, do not lose faith. If all you can do today is 5 minutes on the treadmill, then do 5 minutes and persevere, so that by next week you’ll be able to do 6 minutes. The human body is a miraculous vessel, do not take it for granted, and do not underestimate it. It knows what is best for you, and if you allow it, it will be its best for you.
The bottom line is don’t ever lose the fight before you even go to battle. Look at yourself in the mirror and see your potential. Tell yourself that you will stop doing harmful things to your progress and start doing things that will get you to your goal. You are in control of your life and you are the only one that can make this happen for yourself. No more excuses, no more pity parties….take one step at a time, and get one step closer to your dreams becoming reality.